Have you ever considered the innocence of death? Or, the struggle to die? I believe that both of of these terms are related to very person I am and, it encircles my whole mindset as an author, if you consider me to be one.

What can be said about the ( innocence of death )? When I consider that term; my mind goes back to my childhood and, attending the funerals of two of my sisters. They died about two years apart and both were about eight weeks old. When the second one died, I was about seven years old and, of course I had a little more knowledge of what had happened than I did the first one.

Can you see just how innocent their death was or, is? They had absolutely nothing to do with all that occurred! Over the years of my life, I’ve been to their grave side at least two times for this single purpose. Lord, why did they die and, why am I still hear? As I say that, it’s one thing that is completely clear to me. Each night that I lay my head on my pillow, even as I go through each day of my life, I am completely at the mercy of our Lord as far as death is concerned. The fact that I have lived for now seventy years is nothing in the sight of God. When I close my eyes in sleep, I have absolutely nothing to do with whether I wake up the next morning. For all general purposes, if I live through the day, I have nothing to do with that fact. That why I consider ( the innocence of death ).

With that being said, what can I do? As I read through the word of God, seeing each person that penned down the books we have the priviledge to read, did they consider themselves to be authors? Did they go to school and learn proper way to write each sentence and, make perfect paragraphs with every comma, question mark and period in just the right place? How many years were they educated?

The only person that I can say was educated in scripture would be the Apostle Paul. He, being educated said this about that fact. I consider it as dung.

( Philippians 3:7-8 )

But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. ( 8 ) Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I might win Christ, ( 9 ) And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

I’m sure that there were other people that were educated such as doctor Luke and so on but, the one thing that stands out in my heart is the fact that none of us in a general sense has any control about the length of our lives. That fact was just as true from the very beginning as it is now. That’s why I look at it as the ( innocence of death ). Each person that ever done anything for our Lord made a choice to do so, understanding that their whole being was in the hands of a righteous God.

I’d like for each of us to consider something. It’s a ( what if ). We go about as beings seeking to build great things or, become great people in every field possible. Look across this landscape and see what man has done. Even now, at this moment in time, we are considering putting a man on Mars. We set out to cure every sickness, every dicease and to prolong our version of life as long as possible. We have universities, colleges, schools that can train us to do anything we desire to be.

What if; all of a sudden we as people decided to simply stop, drop to our knees and seek God’s guidance in all things pertaining to our lives? What if we, prayed and simply told the Lord this. I realize I have to work to live, you told me that. However, Lord, my life, my direction is yours. What I do for a living is not important. What I accomplish in this life means nothing but, My desire is to you and you alone!

Whatever happens around me, means nothing. I want my total focus to be on your will for me. My desire is for you to teach me, train me in all things spiritual. Is it possible that God would take care of everything we face and struggle to do in our lives?

What if, we all said; Lord if I’m blind, make me content, if I have cancer, let the rest of my life be to your glory! If I live one day or a hundred years, help it be all for you! What if?

Seemingly, we do all we can, even as born again believers to make this world our home, to have things, even the length of our lives like we would have it be. Did we, somewhere along the line lose the concept of dying to ourselves and being all we could be for Christ? Do we dread dying in any form? Have we become so adapted to a home that is not ours that we seek to build good things here for a long time?

( I AM ) The author of my own life! That is, in the sense of my willingness to die to my own will and, allow him to speak through me. If we are not careful; we allow this world to be the author of every aspect of our lives and, even the very way we will stand before God one day.

Death is completely innocent, just like a child! It can’t force itself upon you nor can it dictate what you do in your everyday life. With that being said, it is coming at some point and basically, every person that will read this knows it well.

If I am an author, It involves my complete desire to die to myself and, become all he desires for me to be. ( my struggle to die )! Since God the Father allows me to have life then, that in itself becomes a struggle to ( forget who I am ) and become all he desires for me to be.

Often, the average person is struggling so hard to live, possess, earn, stay well and satify self that we forget the real reason we are here anyway. Our very existance is to bring glory to the God that created us. Every person is an author. We are writing an epistle of our own self each day God allows us to live in this world. As we read scripture, we have a chance to read some of those epistles of the very people that brought the word of God to our generation. We also can see the epistles that are being written right before our very eyes and they can also see the things that we write each day.

No matter how little time we live or, how much time we have; we each are authors and, within our own lives there is a story being told. What is your story about? How, and when will it end?

The Lord just laid upon my heart a story I need to share. There’s a little country store about two miles from my house. I’ve traded there for most of my life. Many years ago I went to that store. A man and his wife were sitting at the gas pumps and, the man had gone in to pay for his gas. His wife was a very troubled person. When she seen me, this is what she said: ( Uncle Roane ) she said, I know I need to get right with God. My middle name is Roane and, actually, I’m not here unncle but, she always called me that. I replied to her: ( well, there’s nothing more I need to say is it )? You already know!

Over the years, I’ve seen this woman go down to the alter multiple times, in different Churches. The last time that I know of was about five years ago. However, there is not one thing in her life that has ever changed. With that being said; she is writing the epistle of her life everyday God let’s her live. This woman had one other sister and, two brothers. She is the only one left.

I simply tell that story to say that ( the innocence of death ) is slowly snicking up on her. The fact the she has sought to cling to who she is rather than to struggle in her life to be what God would have her to be will be shared from the housetops one day!

The innocence of death is snicking up on each of us. I have chosen to struggle within myself to die each day for his glory. As you look at yourself, what are you struggling with? How does your life, the life God gave you measure up to all he desires for you to be?

What will your epistle say?

Marshall Clayton

2 Timothy 1:7