I said a few days ago I was going to write something about this. Since then I’ve been praying about how to go about it. As you that follow me and read my atricles know, I’m a spiritual writer. I very seldom ever write anything that is not Biblical in content. I last article I wrote was about depression. ( I believe ) that both of these articles can be a very spiritual issues.
If you happened to be a man that has an mentally abusive wife, let me ask you something. When your wife was your girl friend; was she abusive then? In most cases I’d say that the answer to that question is ( no ). If she would have been, you; more than likely wouldn’t have married her. I understand that there are wives that are abused by their husbands as well. However, I’d like to address this problem because I can see a very spiritual problem here and, that to a degree that we never think about.
Before we get into this, I will say this. Any man that will abuse his wife in any way, physically or mentally is a ( brute beast ) and, he has no concept of what the true role of ( a Husband ) is all about. As a matter of fact, he cannot be defined as a husband at all. Personally, I don’t believe we as in ( husbands or wives ) are taught the spiritual concept to those words, ever, not by parents nor by the Churches we attend. We are left to assume that ( just because ) we get married we become ( a husband ) or ( a wife ). This is not so! Both of these words have ( spiritual meanings ). If it wasn’t for the word of God; how would you know to call a woman a wife when she is married or, a man a husband? The very concept of marriage is Biblical. Therefore, when we speak of Husbands and Wives, it’s a very spiritual topic whether we realize it or not.
I believe we also need to make this point clear. As men and women, people; we have a way of defining things to way we like for them to be. For instance; if my dad spanked me when I was a boy, did that fact make him abusive to me? If I was scholded as a child, was that being mentally abused? I thought so at the time!
As time moves foward I’ll try and write something concerning ( abusive husbands ) but in this article we’ll be looking into the mental abuse a wife gives her husband and, to my best ability, Why?
First of all, I’d like to point this out. ( Spiritually speaking ) Jesus Christ is the most mentally abused ( spouse ) that has ever walked this earth! He was when he lived and, even today he still is. We often fail to understand that ( the Church ) is his bride. In more cases than not, he is not allowed to speak in his own house and, if he is allowed to speak he is instructed what he can and cannot say! In the average Church, she decides what she considers right and wrong, if he is to stay inside then( He ) must abide by those guidelines. In many cases when ( He ) tries to speak his heart, even truth thern ( He ) is locked out and ( His Wife ) will not even let him in! Do you doubt that fact?
( Revelation 3:20 )
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
Mental abuse, no matter where it comes from is all about having control. If it happens to be a husband that is being mentally abusive to his wife then I will say that possibly he is in no way willing to submit himself to God the Father. Yet, he expects his wife to submit unto his every word!
When it is the wife being mentally abusive to her husband then she is not in any way going to be submissive to him and also, she will be awfully upset if he even tries to submit to God the Father! When husbands or wives are mentally abusive to their spouse, it is an absolute fact that they are not and cannot be in God’s will, no exceptions! Why do I make that statement? Because ( being Born Again ) in its complete spiritual mindset is all about ( submission ). Salvation has a ( chain of command ). When we refuse to follow that chain then it’s very possible that no matter what we say ( salvation is not within our hearts ).
I began this article speaking of ( the Church ) and ( Jesus Christ ). I wrote an article a few days ago teaching:
( Hebrews 4:12 )
For the word of God is guick, and powerful, sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intent of the heart.
In that article and, in that verse we see that ( the word of God ) seperated our soul from our spirit. At the point of salvation; God actually reclaims what was already his. ( Our Soul ). We , in all of our sin currupted it. The act of salvation is each born again believer willingly giving that ( soul ) within us back to the control of God.From that moment on, God’s desire is to ( control ) everything about us.
Looking at this, let’s consider something. Once you give your soul back to God the Father, can you take it back? Can you dismiss him? The very ( act of salvation ) is the act of you becoming of two completely different mindsets. You live in your flesh but, God the Spirit live within your heart.
Why would I point this out, even as we speak of ( mental abuse ), espescially of a husband? The greatest reason for that is because; although God’s Spirit lives within you, he will never force you to do what is right. He will seek to guide you to truth, righteousness but he will never make you do anything!
Therefore, Let’s say a husband that is born again. Then that man ( has a God given right to tell his wife what he expects of her ). However, he will never, under the leadership of God’s Spirit demand anything of her. Just as ( God’s Spirit ) that lives within him will never demand anything of him, he, being in God’s will will never be demanding either.
The very same spirit that is placed within any husband when salvation comes to a husband is also within any woman that is a wife, if she is also born again. However, if the wife is to be in God’s will as led by the selfsame spirit then to whom is she suppose to submit to?
If we will truly say it in the right context, a husband that is mentally abusive to his wife is being non submissive to one person but, if the wife is being mentally abusive then she is actually being non submissive to two people.I still contend that in neither case; can they be that way and, be right with God at the same time.
Men and women, husbands and wives like to be seen often as ( good Christian people ). We like to set ourselves above those that don’t go to Church, seeking to draw a line between the ( mental abuse ) of those that are saved and those that are not. However, actually there is no difference.
Let’s say there’s a couple in your Church that are seen as a very Godly couple. However, he faces terrible ( mental abuse ) at home which is behind the seens. Is that not the very same sin that happens within a couple that never goes to Church and does not consider themselves to be born again?
I realize that there’s all kinds of different ways and situations that we can consider. However, I’m a spiritual teacher and, I simply believe that ever situation comes about in our lives because of our spiritual condition. With that being said, what a shame when ( a Church ) decides to get ( a pastor ) that they can dictate what he will say from the pulpit! What a shame when a wife is so overbearing ( mentally ) over her husband that, in reality they both die and go to hell because of her refusal to submit, even possibly, carrying their children with them.
Now, I’ve said all of that. Let me ask you something! Have you ever heard Jesus Christ complain? No, and he won’t! If, and I do say if; because if you are truly born again when you commit a sinful act such as ( mental abuse ) Jesus Christ is right there! When you say things you should say, He is still right there!
The reason we never basically hear a husband complain is because we, as men won’t do that sort of thing, it’s not in our makeup. There are men that face ( mental abuse ) each day, That from a wife that many think is a very Godly woman. These wives go to Church, teach Sunday School, some even pastor, they have high respect from many of there piers but, as her husbands sits, He knows what kind of heart she actually has. As a matter of fact, many of his wife’s piers are treating their husbands the very same way. It has become a very natural act to leave God completely out of all they do. What they say is ( simply words ) and that without power!
It’s one point that people that are ( mentally abusive ) seem to forget. Our lives are short. The very same man that is very willing to be your savoir today, very willing to lead you to righteous today will very quickly become ( your judge ). You will stand before him and give an account for your very actions.
That’s the very same for Church members that are abusive to our Lord, locking him out or, never letting him speak. Then that makes you leaders rather than the pastor, you are the dictator of your own future and, you will give an account! We could add to this ( the acts of pastors ) but that is a story for a different day. However, there are pastors that yield rather than take the abuse and, there are also those that simply will not even consider pastoring because they know ( the Church ).
You can count on this fact! Jesus Christ leads his ( true Church ). He leads with wisdom and meekness, never demanding, just simply speaking to his ( true bride ). The members of his ( true Church ) are never ( mentally abusive ) to him and they willingly listen to his voice and follow his leadership. A perfect picture of a loving husband and a very submissive wife! Never any ( mental abuse ) on either side!
TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
2 Timothy 1:7